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Pebble Beach Is The Ultimate Art Exhibition For Car Enthusiasts

Now, you’ve all gone to shows you didn’t like. You didn’t want to see that Miley Cyrus concert with your daughters. (But you needed to ensure she didn’t do anything risqué.) Maybe it was this morning’s sermon, where the pastor (who happens to read Buzzfeed) went on and on about the Oscars and how Jennifer Lawrence… » 3/09/14 2:37pm 3/09/14 2:37pm

I Know How Bugatti Can Sell More Veyrons

These days, I continue to read that the rich are becoming richer. After all, haven’t the prices for high-end Manhattan real estate gone through the roof? Doesn’t the Swiss watch industry debut a new $100,000 watch every minute? Isn’t Gulfstream unable to keep up with the pace of G650 orders? Aren’t the Kardashians… » 3/07/14 9:24pm 3/07/14 9:24pm

"Lifestyle" Vehicles Will Soon Disappear And We Can't Stop It

As many of you know, I have a tendency to spend way too much time on online car configurators. This has involved creating $200,000 911 Carreras, an $80,000 528i, and a beautiful Black Kirsch Rolls-Royce Phantom XWB with a wonderful two-tone interior that I promptly forgot to save. Car configurators are a fantastic… » 3/02/14 2:33pm 3/02/14 2:33pm

I Considered Entering A Ferrari In LeMons So You Don't Have To!

For a long time, I’ve been contemplating entering a car in a LeMons race. If you read my blog, you know I tend to have extremely outlandish thoughts, which thankfully don’t end with me spending any of my meager amount of cash attempting to fulfill them. These involve things like wondering whether I should buy a… » 2/28/14 11:56pm 2/28/14 11:56pm

You Don't Really Need That $45,000 Minivan

Recently, I was reading a Baby Blues comic strip. In it, the parents were contemplating why they didn’t have a van with the built-in vacuum. They quickly realized that one existed (the Honda Odyssey Touring Elite), but that it was $45,000. The parents then thought about installing a goat instead, at which point the… » 2/23/14 1:28am 2/23/14 1:28am

Selling Your Cross-Country Record Attempt Car Is Very Difficult

There's been a lot of talk on Jalopnik during the past few months about setting the cross-country record. You know, driving a vehicle from New York City to Los Angeles in the least amount of time possible. It sounds like the greatest record you could possibly set in the world, until you realize that someone set a… » 2/21/14 9:48pm 2/21/14 9:48pm

Lincoln Has No Idea Where It's Going And What It's Become

Today’s topic of discussion is luxury car brands that are fighting to stay relevant. Unfortunately, there are a number of brands that fall into that category. There’s Lotus, maker of the Evora, a “2+2,” yet manages to be uncomfortable for everyone involved. There’s Aston Martin, a company learning the risks of using… » 2/14/14 1:02pm 2/14/14 1:02pm

Selling a Brand-New Subcompact Is a Salesperson's Worst Nightmare

We all have our automotive nightmares. On Jalopnik, this mainly consists of “Oh no! The Miata’s gone front-drive!” to “Darn! I can only find automatic CTS-V wagons on Autotempest!” to “Egad! Dash cams are banned in Russia? What am I going to watch on my coffee breaks?! » 2/13/14 9:45pm 2/13/14 9:45pm

The E60 BMW M5 Was The Last Four-Door Supercar

A few months ago, I wrote a list about coupes that should be turned into sedans. Like I usually do, I received a lot of vitriol for that piece. Much of it did with things involving beauty, and me being a poor judge of it. This clearly did not bode well for my goal of being on the Miss America judging committee. » 2/08/14 4:06am 2/08/14 4:06am

American Delivery Programs Should Totally Happen

Recently, I had to endure a couple talking about their recent trip to Europe. They bragged about how fast they went on the autobahn (the speeding tickets are yet to arrive in the mail), how excellent the food was (they paid 100 euros per meal; they forgot the breadsticks aren’t free), and how beautiful the scenery… » 2/05/14 2:56pm 2/05/14 2:56pm

The Sport Package Has Gone Too Far

As a car enthusiast, I'd like to think of myself as someone who loves fast cars and lives with the consequences (maxed-out bank account, following Taki Inoue on Twitter, collect way too many model cars for my own good, wake up early to watch Sebastian Vettel dominate a race and promptly complain about it), not… » 1/04/14 2:07am 1/04/14 2:07am

There's Something About The Cadillac ATS 3.6...

Since it's the end of year, car publications have been giving out accolades for everything from best performance car to best car colors to best tech features to best cars to make out in the back seat of. I like to transcend such things, due to lack of press car access. However, it didn't stop me from thinking of the… » 12/24/13 1:45pm 12/24/13 1:45pm

Five Ferrari One-Offs That Need To Be Commissioned

After a week of walking through shopping malls, I've realized Americans love customizing their objects. There's no other reason why jewelry stores stay in business, people can design their own iPhone case, and why the interior decorator profession exists. Meanwhile, I, a Thinkpad user who finally "upgraded" to… » 12/21/13 6:29am 12/21/13 6:29am

2015 Model Year Reveals To Look Forward To

Two weeks ago, the production Ford Mustang was revealed. This involved numerous stories from media outlets on everything from a "burnout button" to articles about whether people would buy hybrid or diesel Mustangs. The Mustang was billed as the 2015 model year reveal of the year and it didn't disappoint. But it's now… » 12/14/13 5:25am 12/14/13 5:25am

Tweeting At Automakers Is A World Of Hurt

Recently, after four years of expressing my thoughts in 140-sentence papers, I finally got a Twitter account. There were a couple reasons for this, none involving upping my Klout score. One was to keep up with the ever-eccentric tweets of Taki Inoue. The other involved making unsolicited car recommendations to… » 10/20/13 3:46pm 10/20/13 3:46pm

Five New Cars Under 200 HP That Shouldn't Be a Teen's First Car

There are some parents in this world who feel that they need to present their offspring with a brand-new car. If there's one thing most parents do know, it's that the car shouldn't be too powerful, because insurance costs will be high (and also the possibility of writing off a car goes way up). But there are still… » 7/18/13 11:31pm 7/18/13 11:31pm